Don't Argue,
Why?
Because You Can’t Win Anyway...
Ever noticed the outcome of an argument between two
people or groups with contradicting views? Was there really a
winner?
If you’re on the winning side
during argument, you feel superior, and important.
All these feelings suggest a positive outcome
for you. It’s as if you’re working down on a guy while he looks
up at you. He has this words to mumble “I’m going to get you
next time; you wait and see.”
Yes, there’s this shallow threat to win over you once he
gets a rematch. Definitely, a rivalry and a disharmonious
relationship will ensue.
If the argument happens in front of other people, the
repercussions are far worst than can be imagined. To most
people, being contradicted and won over in front of other
people is a big issue.
For obvious reasons, no person in his right sense can
tolerate being contradicted. It is an embarrassment.
A person forced to submit against his will
stays firm in his belief...
So what’s the best advice to a situation that
seems to lead to an impending argument? Don't argue.
Welcome an opinion even though it is the
opposite of your own. When two people go into a partnership,
let’s say in business, it is normal that disagreements arise.
Actually, it is healthy for business.
Disagreements don’t mean that the partnership
will go sour. It’s the exchange of ideas that gives businesses
more competitive edges and improvements. Use disagreements to
your advantage.
This is especially true to married couples.
Husbands and wives may disagree but they ultimately find a
common ground to make their relationship stronger.
It’s like exploring each other, getting to
know your partner better. But first, don't argue.
If you are the temperamental type,
learn to control it. Make every effort to
gradually reduce the intensity until you see substantial
improvement.
Temper that is out of control is fueled by
anger like a forest wildfire. This is entirely different from
controlled temper that is like the fire in the fireplace giving
warmth at wintertime. Again don't argue.
One of the most important character you can
develop to avoid arguments is to be a good listener.
When you don't argue, you
are in effect giving your ear a chance to listen first before
you let words come out of your mouth.
And when you do have a word or two to say,
try your best to align them in a non-argumentative direction.
Be tactful. Dwell on areas where you think you and the other
party will agree.
Be sincere but don't
argue.
If you commit a mistake, acknowledge and
apologize accordingly. Don't argue. Apologizing for mistakes
does not make you a lesser person in terms of
importance.
On the contrary, people feel humbled when
apologized to. Apologies bring out the gentle person in
you.
Give the other party the benefit of the doubt
in his opinion especially when you doubt your own opinion as
well. Tell the other party you will think over his
ideas.
This is better than being told later “ I told
you so but you wouldn’t listen.” This will also give you and
him the chance to evaluate the problem or issue.
When someone takes the time and the effort to
engage in a debate or argument with you, it only shows
that he is also interested in the same things as you
do. That alone is sufficient reason for you to thank
him.
Arguments are raised not to be a source of
losing one’s face. Arguments are raised so that we may learn a
lesson or two and get better in terms of acquiring added
knowledge.
Don't Argue. You Can’t Win Anyway
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